Ed Lines – February 8, 2019

Ed Lines – February 8, 2019

WHEN The Sunday Times of all newspapers succumbs to the hyperbolic – or hyperboll*cks – Brexit madness, you know the nation truly is losing the plot.

‘Brexit plan to evacuate the Queen’ ran last Sunday’s hysterical front page headline. Really?

In the event of ‘no deal’ and street riots in the nation’s capital, frit police officers and ministers want to smuggle our 92-year-old monarch and her 97-year-old husband away ‘to safety’. 

What’s the betting ‘safety’ would be a high castle in the Bavarian Alps?

Well, that was before the president of the European Council, Donald Tusk, imagined “a special place in hell,” for 17.4 million satanic Britons who backed Brexit (and I expect that number is much larger as a result of him letting the EU mask slip). 

No, Tusk didn’t actually specify all 17.4 million of us, but you know he meant it. 

The UK is a valuable if awkward cash cow, to be milked excessively, then locked away on our island enclosure and roundly ridiculed by Brussels – until another cheque needs writing. 

Or until they need an army, navy and air force to save their sorry backsides. Again.

Back to the overwrought, wimpy Sunday Times and the Whitehall fear-mongers. Who do they imagine might be rioting in the event of the ‘no deal’ they so desperately fear?

Given that Her Majesty is probably an ardent patriot and Leaver, if Parliament’s rump of Remain MPs manage to sabotage Brexit, she and Phil could well be leading the riots – marching from Buckingham Palace on the greasy little traitors in Westminster.

Two groups of people would be upset by a no deal Brexit: Those who profit directly or indirectly from the Brussels gravy train, and the generally mild-mannered Remain voters who actually mean well, but in my experience are rather naive.

I am not being insulting for once, honestly. 

But such as I try to understand the Remain logic, they: a) have gullibly swallowed Project Fear hook, line and sinker, and: b) belonging to a big European family soothes their harmonious, one-world dreams, bless.

Yes, business recalibrations will almost certainly bring short-term discomfort, but nothing compared to the European financial bubble bursting, which is a real and imminent danger. 

As for the tired argument “because of the EU we haven’t had a war in Europe for 60 years”? 

Did I imagine war in the Balkans, Ukraine, or the Islamic terror campaign still plaguing Europe’s capitals?

Weren’t those Dutch soldiers who stood by and watched as 8,000 men and boys were slaughtered at Srebrenica in 1995?

Mrs L gets frustrated with me – with this subject – when like a lot of confused citizens she seeks hard answers. 

That was the problem in 2016 and still is. No-one can predict with any certainty the definitive nuts and bolts of March 30 onwards. 

It is a leap of faith. 

What we do have evidence of, is that the pre-vote horror stories from David Cameron, George Osborne and the might of the pro-EU establishment, were exposed as damnable, bullying lies. The world did not end. 

And today, despite 30-plus months of non-functioning government and all the uncertainty, our economy is out-performing ailing Europe.

The misguided ‘£350m a week for the NHS’ is repeatedly paraded as evidence of Leave lies. 

It was a stupid mistake – it’s closer to £200m. Such a silly, damaging exaggeration, unlike the fact that over 10,000 Brussels bureaucrats earn more than our Prime Minister, quite before their obscenely lavish perks.

For what? You tell me.

And yet the only change in the Project Fear campaign is that the hysteria has reached new levels – just ask Her Majesty.

The real power behind the EU throne, Martin Selmayr, insists they will take our £39 billion even with no deal. 

But then his two grandfathers were similarly inclined – a general and a colonel in the Wehrmacht in WWII. I sniff unfinished family business from the man even his staff call ‘the Monster’.

But if you get into detail and ask Remainers about the looming Lisbon Treaty diktats, their eyes glaze over. You ask if they realise it will make the unelected EU Commission supreme in basically all aspects of governance – we would have no veto – and they look pitifully at you, then go watch a David Attenborough documentary on saving the planet. 

Informed debate is difficult because Brexit comes down as much now as it did on June 23 2016, to an emotional choice – and so we’re reduced to idiotic hysterics that a mob will lynch the Queen. 

I agree that we could see a London mob – but descending on Whitehall and Westminster, not a harmless couple of OAPs.

As the clock ticks towards March 29, even now British politicians continue bickering like children, arguing about what ‘deal’ they can agree on. 

And at the risk of boring you to death, I repeat again – there is no ‘deal’ acceptable to the EU that doesn’t lock in the UK as de facto slaves. Don’t take my word for it, take Donald Tusk’s!

Theresa May’s Withdrawal Bill did just that, with the fictional ‘temporary’ Irish backstop being the Colditz razor wire that Brussels would imprison us with, ad infinitum. 

Why can’t our MPs be honest with themselves at least? Why would the EU negotiate a future trade deal when we’ve already surrendered, which May’s deal is? Either there’s something in it for our MPs, or they’re stupid. I lean towards stupid.

On Wednesday, Donald Tusk spoke for the EU establishment – not our European cousins, ordinary people – in showing how much contempt they hold us in. 

So, Remain voters, if you are still desperate to be ruled by these unelected federal dictators please, seriously, explain to me why.

If it’s because British politicians are complete numpties, I’m with you, but we can change them. 

No-one elects the power-mad EU Commission which we can plainly see hates Britain’s guts. 

Are you truthfully happy with them setting every law, having power over every budget, and eventually overseeing our military? 

Because me and Jeremy Corbyn aren’t.

COPPERS, especially on-duty coppers, are not noted for their sense of humour. One I conversed with on Saturday tried, bless him.

There were seven officers at the public entrances to the grounds of York Minster.

“What’s occurring officer?” I inquired.

“Project Servator, sir” (phew, my photo mustn’t be on their Most Wanted board). 

“We are providing hi-impact visual reassurance to the public, to deter everything from street crime to terrorist incidents.”

He’d learned his script well.

“Someone’s planning to nick the Minster?” I asked, straight-faced.

“Ha ha, sir, very good,” (personally I think he was trying too hard).

“It is a counter-crime strategy, we may turn out with dogs, with armed officers…”

I looked around. Lots of Chinese (and other) tourists taking photos of one of the grandest buildings in Europe. No vans hurtling menacingly across Dean’s Park, not even a busker in sight. Nary a scrap of litter to be seen.

“Hmm, I said. “Crime prevention.”

“Yes sir, crime prevention. The team will be re-locating throughout the day.”

Well, you wouldn’t want some chancer digging up the cobbles in The Shambles, would you?

Sorry, what a waste of public money and a lousy excuse for policing.

And in other news, the failed chief constable who apologised for letting 373 children be used as sex slaves, has been appointed Theresa May’s independent anti-slavery commissioner. 

I think that’s called adding insult to injury.

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