Ed Lines – February 2, 2018

HOT on the heels – the high heels – of last week’s armageddon fall-out from the Presidents Club ‘man winks at girl scandal’ (still no formal complaints made by the way), comes an avalanche of continued male capitulation.

On Saturday, sports impresario Barry Hearn announced that darts was axing its walk-on girls, the  attractive lasses who escort the beer-bellied players to the stage. 

Personally, I’d have preferred that they axe the beer bellies and just have the girls play a pub game on telly, but there you go.

The girls certainly didn’t feel exploited – it was a job, one with a great profile, but apparently Sky Sports weren’t happy.

(Note to Hearn – why not hack off your bolleaux and serve them up to Sky on a platter while you’re at it? On second thoughts maybe not, because seeing how pathetic you are Barry, they’d probably commission a Sky One show where you have to cook and eat them too).

It isn’t as though the girls were wearing thongs and nipple tassles, just attractive outfits that any Hollywood starlet can prance up the red carpet in – so long as she’s also wearing a ribbon/flower to signify her #MeToo hatred of men, obviously (and can I suggest a different hashtag – #LookButDon’tTouch? Or  even better, #****teaser?)

I say hatred of men but that’s excluding those who are busy collapsing in a pathetic heap, vicariously apologising for every imagined masculine sin from Harvey Weinstein, via Casanova, Henry VIII and Genghis Khan, all the way to Adam.

Not to be outdone this week, Formula One’s spineless bosses binned their Grid Girls, the latest lemming-like frenzy of Politically Correct madness.

I repeat, did anyone ask the girls? Even offer them the choice of keeping the job but wearing baggy tracksuits? Because the public have been asked in both cases and have replied ‘keep ‘em!’

It would serve both sports right if punters walked away and TV viewers turned off. I certainly won’t watch Sky darts or F1 in future.

I worry, I really do, at this frenzied sexist fascism that is paradoxically doing exactly the opposite of its intention – because I reckon if you asked those girls, they’d reply that they enjoy looking fantastic.

This witchhunt is not emancipating women, it is punishing and pigeon-holing them; it is insisting that if they’re attractive they are natural objects of perverted male exploitation and need to be saved from themselves.

It’s saying they are not intelligent, independent adults, but that they are pretty with long legs and big t*ts, clearly engineered to be male playthings! 

Ergo they must be saved, and that is the boot-stomping responsibility of the neo-liberal left that is poisoning our education system and shutting down adult debate.

It is happening folks, it is happening daily and it isn’t too far-fetched to see where it leads. 

Why not make women wear a headscarf in public, dresses that reach the floor? And before long, hey presto, get them all wearing the bloody Zorro outfits that deface Dewsbury, Batley and further afield.

That really is what you call killing two birds with one stone – the sisterhood asserts the natural pre-eminence of dough-faced, hairy-armpitted, joyless crones who just happen to have a uterus, and the Muslim brotherhood has its work done for it in eradicating sexualised British women. 

THERE seems to be a complete abandonment of perspective or common sense, and I’m not sure where it stops.

I’m amazed Miss World is still tolerated. How long before there’s a move to  stomp out amateur cheerleading teams, because the girls and young women wear skimpy uniforms? It would seem an obvious next step, notwithstanding that it’s great exercise, engenders team-building and is all-around good fun.

But no if there’s an opportunity for the wild-eyed mob to claim more control, it’s going to be in trouble.

Female gymnastics? Well that has to go, unless they start trying to do tumble turns in a baggy judo suit. Good luck to the lady swimmers trying to break records, thrashing up and down the pool in their PJs.

But those big, black male Olympic sprinters, the Linford Christies of the world, with their meat and two veg swinging about like a 10-pound pendulum? 

That’s okay, because it’s time the girls got their own back...

IN LIGHT of the current febrile feminist mood, I’d love someone to tell me how the situation that’s existed in an area of south Leeds for nearly three years fits in.

In a designated part of Holbeck and Beeston, street prostitution and the attendant kerb crawling has been effectively legalised. There’s a team of four police officers to manage any problems, even a hotline to report ‘sex litter’ (the sound of which is enough to put you off, if seeing the desperate state of some of the workers hadn’t already).

I have no real view on this except that it’s all a bit sad. Either regulate and manage the oldest profession – and the drug industry which fuels much of it – thus dealing with the rampant trafficking, pimping and abuse, or treat it as a crime.

But where is the sisterhood in taking this issue on? Why aren’t they flooding LS11 shaming any bloke who drives under 20mph?

Probably because they realise the empowered working girls would give them a right slapping and kick them off their patch. Not that there’s any hypocrisy at all here...

PUBLIC Health England will spend £3.4 billion this financial year. 

But that’s nothing to do with the NHS – no diagnoses or prescriptions, no operations or life saving interventions.

It’s mostly £34,000,000,000 of politically correct bullshine; of Mr Goody Two-Shoes telling fat bloaters who’ve never worked a day in their life and have five kids by six dads, that gorging on McDonalds won’t get them in the Olympics.

PHE’s self-styled mission is to turn us into a nation of tee-total diet-freaks, who couldn’t get fat or psst if we wanted. 

They’d make everything illegal except drinking water and breathing fresh air if they could, with their attack-dog strategies to cut calorie intakes and ‘one-glass-of-wine-a year could kill you’ brainwashing.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the biggest drain on the NHS all the old timers who won’t pop their clogs?

Isn’t that the nation’s existential threat? Too many old people draining the lifeblood of younger generations – bed-blocking them from hospital when they’re poorly, and bed-blocking the three-bed semis we won’t bloody well die off and leave them to inherit?

So excuse me if this sounds daft, but exactly what problems are Public Health England trying to cure?

If we want to free up hospital beds, encourage Karen Matthews and her mates to drink meths and eat handfuls of lard. Up to 18 stone darling, and the elastic on your tights has gone twang? 

I’d have a drink to drown my sorrows love … whoops there goes another!

And at the funeral, instead of printing 10 million leaflets that hopefully get recycled (but won’t get read), get another round in. Another couple might keel over.

If people are stupid or lazy enough to fall off the perch before they reach 40, can I advise the PHE experts to reference Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution? It’s called natural selection. Ultimately these people are no loss. 

Good health evidence is out there, all the information and education required. There is no excuse other than themselves.

In the meantime, put my money into the real NHS, please – including the £400 million PHE have just agreed to pay for a new HQ.

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