BELIEVE it or not, the words you read in this column are not always exactly as I originally wrote them.
Just last week the editor, David Bentley, took out what I intended as a ‘playful’ reference to two cross-dressing men. I’d used what I considered appropriate a*teri*k* (asterisks – please, keep up!) to disguise the rhyming-slang nature of the expression (sounds like ‘rocks in socks’) but it still offended his sensitivities.
That’s okay. Even the devil of a boss needs an editorial angel looking over his shoulder at times.
What I won’t wear, however, and where I will draw the line while ever I publish this newspaper, is any attempt to silence our right to hold, report or espouse any idea or opinion that is not blatantly illegal, however much it may offend someone or other – which these days, is pretty much everyone except me and a couple of my tea-time pals from The Woodman Inn.
Britain’s tumble into the pit of PC-fascism continues apace, with Labour’s shadow equality minister Sarah Champion being forced to resign last week after writing in The Sun (of all places for a Labour MP) about sex grooming of young girls by groups of mainly Pakistani men.
Hello? Anyone home? What on earth is the problem with referencing that? Certainly there’s nothing inaccurate about it.
I’m disappointed that she didn’t say mainly Pakistani Muslim men, but she probably thought that would be a nudge too far. Yet it still cost her her job.
Most of these rape and paedophile gangs – not all – are of Pakistani origin. Pretty much exclusively, they profess the Muslim faith, although if someone can find me reports of serial predatory behaviour by gangs of Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist or otherwise Asian men, I’d be grateful.
So please, someone, tell me what I’m missing here.
Ms Champion clearly has the constitution of a snowflake because she immediately proved herself a complete hypocrite by not only capitulating but also being one of 100 MPs to express ‘outrage’ at a column in the same edition of The Sun by political editor Trevor Kavanagh, talking about ‘The Muslim Problem’.
Now, I don’t see the nation’s Catholics rising up every time someone talks about historic sex abuse by priests but here’s the thing: Neither was it the mainstream Muslim population throwing a wobbler – because like those law-abiding Catholics, they know it’s true, and possibly even feel a measure of shame.
No, the imagined offence was typically screamed by Labour’s far-left stormtroopers who had the nerve to compare Kavanagh’s use of ‘The Muslim Problem’ with Hitler’s infamous ‘The Jewish Problem’.
How insulting, how contrived, how inflammatory – and how typical of Corbyn’s brownshirts, among whom, standing proud, were our very own Paula Sherriff and Tracy Brabin.
Shame on both of them.
Ms Brabin wrote an online blog essentially wanting The Sun closing down – shutting up, because her 2+2 = 6 million dead assumption was suddenly writ in law.
Mention or criticism of these rapists and paedophiles and their backgrounds by Ms Brabin was there none.
We know why – because both our local MPs have sold their electoral souls to the mosques.
They lose the Muslim vote, they lose the job, and they can forget all of the well-meaning campaigns to save hospitals and ban tampon taxes etc.
Back to the NHS for Paula, back to daytime TV ads for Tracy. And they really don’t want that.
There’s often a professional agitator pulling the strings, which in in this case was full-time Islamist provocateur Miqdaad Versi.
He literally spends his life poring over media reports, looking for criticism of Muslims that he can pick a fight over. Then he shouts and Brabin, Sherriff and friends dance to his tune like Pinocchio and his puppet pals.
Whatever their positive merits as MPs, with regard to the Muslim block vote I think this pair have basically pimped themselves out to buy a political career.
I ask you ladies – do you care about the problem of genetic deformities amongst your constituents because of medieval marital practices, and one of the worst infant mortality rates in the land?
Are you concerned about forced marriages, about women living in social and cultural slavery? About honour killings?
About a great many subjects I could mention, but which you paper over by ingratiating yourselves with a few dozen modernist Muslims who help you pretend the problems don’t exist?
And all of that, alive and kicking here in Dewsbury and Batley, is without going anywhere near terrorism and grooming gangs.
But it will be the wicked media again I suppose. Bigots and fascists, all – which is these people’s only response to anyone who disagrees with them.
This week we got a dash of ‘Tears For Barcelona’ faux grief and a quick “Thoughts and prayers with the victims” before moving quickly along.
No votes to be won in pausing and reflecting on the inconvenient truth of what vile beliefs underpinned those atrocities, is there?
But that’s the other prevailing warped reality. Like the sex gangs, those Allahu Akbar-screaming killers aren’t really Muslims either, are they ladies?
Because the industry of Islamo-apologists (mostly white, ironically) get to decide who is and who isn’t a real Muslim, depending on whether it suits their agenda. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so poisonous.
I imagine the two MPs won’t be best pleased with these comments.
They may even decide to quit writing their columns for The Press and fall back on the safety blanket of the Reporter, News and Guardian and their rapidly diminishing band of readers.
That would be their prerogative – but as much as I consider a lot of their views utter tripe, I would never axe their regular columns in this newspaper.
Because unlike Ms Brabin at least, I believe in freedom of speech.
SOME people's idea of the perfect holiday is to do absolutely nothing – to make boredom a sun-kissed virtue. For others it's all about thrills, spills and adventures.
As I write from sunny Spain – and I’m sorry about the crap weather back home folks – can I offer a piece of advice? Rent a car via Holiday Autos. They’ll tick all those boxes in the first three hours. Heck, you might even get lucky and get home in one piece.
I've heard some immigration control horror stories from Espana, but despite flying not long after the Barcelona attack, we breezed through Alicante airport.
Heck, our bags almost beat us to the carousel.
There's a reason why Holiday Autos are popular, especially with ‘thrifty' Yorkshiremen (guilty as charged m'lud). They hook up with a budget local car provider and go for volume over margins.
That's why we were number 27 in the queue and sat, hot, sweaty and bored stiff, for 90 minutes.
When I did get the motor however there was a problem – a tyre pressure issue flashing up. I raised it with the rental company staff. “No problemo, air temperature, equalisation, blah-de-blah, ees normal.'
That was 6.30pm. When the tyre blew at 9.30pm (it may or may not have been related) it would not have been drastic, except there was no spare tyre. Space for one, but no tyre. The EuropAssistance man with his tow truck even went to show the idiot Engleesh where it was.
“No spare wheel” he said, surprised. “No sh*t Sherlock,” I replied. He promptly towed it away.
That was Saturday, it's now Wednesday evening, and still no car. Lots of time wasted on the phone to car providers Record Go and on both phone and webchat to Holiday Autos who were about as much use as that flat tyre.
It will be interesting to see how this all pans out … but in the meantime, book with them at your peril.