Ed Lines

AS YOU’D expect, I have a view on gay marriage. Here it is – lads (or lasses), DON’T DO IT!!! You’ll ruin a perfectly good relationship.

I’m not sure which of you wears the britches or the dress in the partnership (delete as applicable), but the minute you’ve bitten into that wedding cake, you can kiss goodbye to the ‘fun and games’ (that’s a euphemism – this is still a familyish newspaper).

I’m exaggerating a little bit. No doubt there’ll be rompings galore on the wedding night if you’re both sober enough, and quite probably good times on the honeymoon in Lesvos or Mykonos. Fill yer boots while it lasts (or maybe within gay relationships there’s a different dynamic altogether. If so, good for you).

I still chuckle at a pal – very heterosexual – who sighed that he could see the attraction of sharing a house/life with another bloke. It was just the ‘physical’ bit of the equation that put him off.

But I have to say, while watching the Conservative party tear itself to bits over the subject, that that’s about as worked up as I can get.

So long as churches (and ministers) are free to act within their beliefs and to put their faith before a daft piece of legislation, so be it. I suspect a lot of you feel similarly ambivalent. We have bigger issues to worry about.

Unfortunately, as and when the gay marriage Act is passed into law, I suspect one of the first things we’ll see is a militant gay couple getting into the ribs of a church that refuses the sacrament to them.

Because that’s the bottom line of what this is about – apart from David Cameron pandering to every imaginable minority hoping to scrape up the odd vote while trusting that his Tory grassroots has no option but to stick by him (bad call I suspect, Dave).

But just because Cameron’s Oxfordshire dinner party crowd includes a few chaps who fancy dressing up in pink taffeta, and ladies who look good in pinstripes, he has risked splitting his already fractured party in two.

Why? This wasn’t in any election manifesto (unlike issues that were, but he’s ditched). Is it a bit of political bargaining with that other Yesterday Man, Nick Clegg?

What it does, for me, is sum up the political class’s complete detachment from reality. The sooner both of these plagues on our houses are despatched, the better.


I’LL vote UKIP at the next election, even though it might help usher in Labour MPs by splitting the vote. We have to make our voices heard and if short-term pain is what it takes to shake up the system, so be it.

My dream scenario would be for disaffected Conserv-ative councillors and MPs to defect en masse, to start the ball rolling and give Nigel Farage’s party a foothold. Come on Simon (Reevell) – be the first! We’ll even campaign for you in 2015. And let’s face it, it would probably be the best chance you’d have of holding onto the seat! Might even attract a lot of traditional Labour votes.

I had lunch with two churchmen this week, as sensible, earnest and concerned a pair as you could meet.

They weren’t quite in despair at the absence of a voice for such a large swathe of British people – not the kind of chaps to ‘do’ despair.

But they seemed very frustrated at the raising of every kind of minority interest on almost pagan pedestals.

I hadn’t quite articulated it like that before, but it’s a fitting analogy.

Ethnic minority, violent criminal, gay lesbian and transgender, anyone with a disability real or imagined, even Satanists whose rights to worship are recognised by public bodies – everyone of them is hoisted up, to be feted as they stand on the downtrodden shoulders of we ‘ordinary’ people; our job is just to fund the Politically Correct insanity and keep our traps shut for fear of being branded bigots.

The common denominator? There’s a pocket industry for every one of these false gods – someone trousering public funds for championing any and everything different, and a fat rump of lawyers helping propagate the madness.

Am I a UKIP man? I’m not even sure exactly what their policies are beyond giving us a voice on getting out of Europe before it implodes.

I also like the cut of Nigel Farage’s cloth; a plain-speaking bloke who leads with his chin and doesn’t give two hoots what his critics think – he has leadership qualities where Cameron has smooth deceit, Clegg a heart of jelly, and Miliband the left-over brain and personality of one of Dr Frankenstein’s failures.

I don’t doubt that even as I write, and as UKIP’s sun rises, journalists from the Guardian and BBC are digging away like Arthur’s miners to find any bit of muck that will sully Farage’s reputation.

Those two churchmen wondered how they – we – could find a voice for a lost generation of disenfranchised Britons on the fringes of this fractured society. I didn’t have an answer for them then, but I’ve thought of one.

Across Europe one of the most popular political movements has long been the Christian Democrats. I think we’re long overdue such a voice here – with doors wide open to straight, gay, black, white and polka dotted, all alike. I could rally to that flag.


WHERE do you start with something like the barbaric murder of a soldier in London this week? 

If I’m not sure about where to start, I do know where I’d end – with two characters swinging from the end of a rope. Fancy martyrdom? Here, have a portion on us.

The police have an unfortunate record of shooting dead criminal suspects – and even innocent members of the public in the case of Jean Charles de Menezes. What a pity they only wounded the two brutal killers of this young serviceman because no amount of jail time can ever bring justice.

If it is possible to find anything positive emerging from this, can I applaud the leaders of the Kirklees Imams and Mosques Advisory Board, who issued a public condemnation of the act on behalf of the local Muslim population. Such immediate and unequivocal messages (as I write at the bottom of the page) is long overdue, but no less welcome for that.


IT WAS nice to see Mount Cricket Club featured during tv coverage of the first test between England and New Zealand at Lords on Sunday.

The long-established Batley club has found a new lease of life since relocating from the  Hyrstlands cabbage patch up to Staincliffe Cricket Club, and their founder, chairman and Labour Councillor Hanif Mayet did the club proud.

If only he’d stopped while still ahead … the piece ended showing the entire team on their knees in the middle of the pitch, bowing to Mecca. Explaining that they were skint, Mr Mayet added that because the team were devout Muslims “our religion forbids us from applying for Lottery funding.”

Pardon? They don’t have a different brand of Islam in Batley, do they?

Coun Mayet needs to get on the dog and bone to his Labour colleagues in Savile Town, to the Taleem Centre’s fundraiser in chief Khalid Aziz, who got £9,870 from the Big Lottery Fund for his ComDel Cricket Club (named after the company he ran with fellow Savile Town ‘fundraiser’ Sajid Mahmood). Savile Stars CC got 10k off the lottery as well. Part of the now defunct ComDel’s grant was to build a website.

Good luck finding it.

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