Ed Lines

IS IT me going daft or was that really a bunch of bishops this week (with their heads presumably up their cassocks) pontificating about the dangers of limiting families on benefits to £500 a week?
Throw in the free school dinners, dental care, prescriptions etc and that’s worth 3540 grand in the real world. Wouldn’t you fancy a bit of that – all for doing precisely sod all, except growing another chin?
The church leaders are apparently worried about the dangers of driving more children into poverty.
Heaven forfend that the poor little mites have to get by without the latest iPhone or Playstation. Think of the damage to their selfesteem!
Sorry, but if you ask me we need more ‘poverty’ not less (and it isn’t ‘poverty’ as people in parts of Africa might recognise).
How else can we motivate people into working and contributing to society?
Forty years of dangling the carrot of benefits in front of an entire subclass of society has failed this country entirely. Time for the stick.
If you want to avoid families going hungry give them food coupons – not redeemable at McDonalds by the way. A chilly winter looms? Clothes coupons will do. To be reimbursed at charity shops.
The shame and embarrassment would breach their human rights, would it? Aw bless.
There’s an easy answer to that. Get off your lazy arses and work, then!
Oh, no jobs to go to? Okay, get the youngsters conscripted, and the adults can labour/learn on the job in one of the huge public works projects David Cameron said he was going to launch (but won’t, like everything else he says).

THOSE clerics would be better tasked comparing their £500aweek bleeding heart plea with the tragic reality of Mark and Helen Mullins, who committed suicide together.
Benefits of £500 a week? They were forced to live on £57.50 a week and had been reduced to a 12mile round trip walk to a soup kitchen, where they got free vegetables to take home and make into soup, on a calor stove in the one room of their home they could afford to heat.
Mrs Mullins had learning difficulties and wasn’t deemed employable, so received no jobseekers’ allowance – but not so ill that she qualified for incapacity benefit.
Mr Mullins was her carer but because of a lack of diagnosis couldn’t qualify for a carers’ allowance.
So the couple, unable to face another winter, took their own lives. No one from Social Services wanted to comment. They never do.
Can I tell you what I think the Mullins’ biggest problem was? They were ‘easy’.
Not clever enough to play the system, not ‘foreign’ enough to have an entire support network dedicated to milking it. Ordinary, white and vulnerable.
They were like the thousands of elderly and ill people revealed as being mistreated on a regular basis by their supposed carers.
I might be deluded by the misty, rosetinted hue of nostalgia, but did Britain used to be a place where callous and casual cruelty was commonplace among people with a duty of care?
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe too many people have always had this shocking disregard for people less able than them. It’s a terrible thought.
And I can’t escape the suspicion that many of these will be the people walking out on strike this winter, because it turned out the Pensions Fairy was a little less magic than imagined.
I may well be talking to ‘you’ dear reader, if you’re one of the public sector workers throwing a strop because it turned out, shucks, there’s no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
You’ll still be massively better off than those of us out in the real world who have to fund your stipend.
So, nothing personal, but I’d give a big cheer if, for once, this Government had the guts to withdraw its latest offer and pass laws making it easier to sack the lot of you, and give the jobs to people willing to work, who wouldn’t leave children and old people in the lurch.
The trouble is, I suspect they’d all be Polish, Czech and Russians...

I’M not sure I believe in ghosts, but if they exist I hope that every single night for the rest of Paul Stewart and William Thomson’s miserable lives, they are haunted by one.
They are the Fire Service commanders who condemned Alison Hume to death, after she fell down a disused mine shaft. They prevented willing – and easily able – men from
rescuing her, all because of some pathetic paragraph in a health and safety manual about using rescue equipment.
Proud of yourselves for knowing the red tape in such minuscule detail, are you chaps? Probably get a service medal for that, eh? That’s if you haven’t thrown on the sick with stress already because of the ‘ordeal’ of your inhumanity being exposed by the media to a disgusted watching world.
These jobsworths deserve to hear that woman’s screams every time they close their eyes.

SO ANYWAY, I stood at the bar, and told anyone who would listen that the kids were grounded until Christmas. And I declared that the wife had better cook me a perfect steak for tea and dress up in basque and benders tonight.
And I assured all and sundry that when I went into work tomorrow, half of the staff were out on their ears, and the rest had better buck their ideas up, or else … I meant business and everybody had better look out.
No, of course I didn’t.
What utter tripe. I might think it on occasion, but say it out loud? Yeah right.
But you know, that’s how David Cameron thinks you run a country. Really, he does.
Him and that old buffoon Vince Cable, who left the banking fat cats alone briefly this week to spout his determination to tackle top executives’ pay.
Course you are Vince. Then you’re going to win gold in the synchronised swimming at the Olympics.
If you missed it, Cameron also whispered softly that the Government is going to miss its borrowing targets. We’re as skint as we were when Gordon Brown wiped his hands and walked away from the mess he made.
But given Cameron’s record of failure on everything he’s opened his mouth about (except toppling Gaddafi and managing to usher in a potentially Jihadist regime!) was there ever any doubt?
You see, for all the rhetoric about bonfires of the quangos and scything cuts, the reality is that these people – Cameron, Clegg, Cable etc – couldn’t the run the proverbial in a brewery.
They honestly believe that just saying something makes it happen!
The huge, overbloated public sector is a beast that can’t be tamed by asking it nicely to cut off one of its own legs.
All that happens then is that under ‘Lockwood’s trickledown theory of putting the management boot in’ the easy targets right at the bottom of the ladder pay the price.
So lollipop ladies are axed, saving 10bob here and there, services to little old ladies are slashed, saving another 10bob. And still the billions are squandered…
Try shouting a bit louder Dave. Why don’t you and Vince try shouting together?
Bring Nick along too and try a tripleshout. Maybe that’ll make things all right. Not.

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